


when your heart is conflicted, walk towards water

by SerpentineJ



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mm... yes, Pre-compfes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 18:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14219523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerpentineJ/pseuds/SerpentineJ
Summary: "I truly hate you," Souma says."That's nothing new," Kaoru says offhandedly. "I'm your Marine Bio club senpai too, aren't I? And Kanata is the only one getting a graduation party...""A man who barely appears in the club room once a month does not deserve that same club to send him off fondly," Souma says stuffily, but there's something awkward about his stance. Kaoru squints at him for a moment, trying to figure out what was so strange about that retort, which should have packed its usual bite, but decides that if he's analyzing a man's quirks and tells, he's gone too deep, and resolves to disregard it.





	when your heart is conflicted, walk towards water

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: mm... Kaosou

"I must request something of you," Souma says, catching Kaoru in the hallway without preamble. "It has to do with Buchou-dono and the Marine Bio club, though you might be its one greatest shame."

"Hmm," Kaoru says, looking at him. "Well, 'shame of the Marine Bio club' isn't really my name, for starters."

"...Hakaze-dono," Souma says after a moment, like it pains him, and Kaoru smiles. Even though he's not interested in men, Souma really is fun to tease.

"See?" He says. "It's not so difficult to be kind to your upperclassmen sometimes, Souma-kun."

"I am plenty kind," Souma almost spits, fingers tensing around his sword. "I hold Kiryu-dono and Hasumi-dono and Buchou-dono in the highest esteem. It is only lecherous, frivolous wastes of oxygen which I do not acknowledge-"

Kaoru sighs.

"Okay, okay," he says, waving a hand. "Really, Souma-kyun, you lose all trace of cuteness when you lecture me like that."

"Do not call me that," Souma says, voice shaking with fury as it often does when he speaks to Kaoru. "I have asked you earnestly for help for the sake of a friend, and you have used that weakness I have shown as an opportunity to extort-"

Kaoru frowns.

"Don't make me sound like such a villain," he says. "Even though I'm not that good a guy, either. I was going to help you anyways."

Souma glares at him. Kaoru sweats slightly. He averts his eyes. For some reason, the naked anger in Souma's eyes doesn't amuse him as it probably would any other day. Maybe it's because today, Souma had come to him with a truly honest request. 

Kaoru sighs loudly and runs a hand through his hair.

"Do you really think I'm such a bad guy?" He groans and shoves one hand in his pocket. "You wanted me to distract Kanata-kun with club activities while you and Transfer-Student-chan organized a Marine Bio Club graduation party for the club president, right?"

The crease between Souma's sharp eyebrows lessens slightly. He takes his hand off the hilt of his blade, at least. Kaoru slumps slightly in relief.

"...thank you," Souma says awkwardly.

"Don't mention it." Kaoru says. "Really. I don't like doing men favors. And haven't I told you that it's dangerous to swing that thing around the school? An idol's face is his most precious asset, you know. What would you do if you accidentally sliced my face open and all my girl fans found out?"

"I truly hate you," Souma says.

"That's nothing new," Kaoru says offhandedly. "I'm your Marine Bio club senpai too, aren't I? And Kanata is the only one getting a graduation party..."

"A man who barely appears in the club room once a month does not deserve that same club to send him off fondly," Souma says stuffily, but there's something awkward about his stance. Kaoru squints at him for a moment, trying to figure out what was so strange about that retort, which should have packed its usual bite, but decides that if he's analyzing a man's quirks and tells, he's gone too deep, and resolves to disregard it.  
He sighs.

"Alright," he says, turning around, waving behind him. "I have to go home now, but tell me what you want me to do later. Let's try our best to send Kanata-kun off with a smile, right?"

Souma watches his back.

"Make sure you don't cry when the time comes, Souma-kun," Kaoru calls over his shoulder. 

~~~~~~

Of course, he had said that, but Souma avoids Kaoru for the next two weeks. It's not that he wants to talk to Souma in particular, Kaoru tells himself, and the only people he actively wants to talk to are girls, but it becomes pretty obvious by the point where he turns the corner into a hallway and Souma is there, discussing something in low voices with Adonis, and the wannabe-samurai turns beet-red at seeing Kaoru's face and turns away without a prior word, pulling Adonis away by the arm. 

He catches a few lines of their conversation before Souma catches sight of him.

"-food-"

"-celebration preparation-"

"-that man-"

"-don't like-"

"-you planning-"

It's not enough information to even form an educated guess, with all the celebration going on around the school lately- every unit and every club sends off their senpai with well-wishes and excitement before the Compensation Festival lives- so Kaoru ignores it. It's not that Souma avoiding him is something he cares particularly about, he tells himself, even if he does feel a little strange at the idea of Souma, who has always loved the club captain more than the only other member, completely ignoring his graduation. He'd like to think they're at least clubmates. It stirs something almost forlorn in his stomach- something that he refuses to call jealousy, because jealousy is an emotion he can only feel when a man has taken a pretty lady's attention from him- but he feels odd, nonetheless. Like there's a pebble in his stomach. 

Kaoru's phone buzzes in his pocket. He turns it on. It's Koga, texting him the date and time of the UNDEAD upperclassmen- him and Rei's- retirement party. He smiles slightly. Souma settles into the side of his mind.

~~~~~~

"Kanzaki?" Adonis says at lunch. "How is the planning for your final club meeting going?"

Souma frowns as he eats.

"Fairly well," he says quietly. "But this is turning into more of an ordeal than I expected."

Adonis looks at him in concern.

"Is something the matter?" He says. "Kanzaki, I hope you feel you can confide in me-"

Instead of relieving the strange look on Souma's face, it only deepens it. Adonis is struck by the urge to reach out and comfort his friend.

"Adonis-dono," Souma say suddenly. "I do know that I can trust you... so may I ask you a question?"

"Of course," Adonis says.

"How do you feel about your unit-mate senpai's graduation?" Souma asks bluntly.

Adonis blinks.

"Well," he says after a moment. "Of course, I am saddened by Sakuma-senpai and Hakaze-senpai's leaving. I truly treasure the time we have spent together as UNDEAD, and I hope we may come back together sometime as idols, once Oogami and I have graduated as well."

Souma's frown has not let up. Adonis cocks his head.

"Is there something in particular that is worrying you, Kanzaki?" He says.

Souma presses his lips together until they turn white.

"Adonis-dono," he says. "I feel the same way as you about my senpai at AKATSUKI. That is not precisely what is troubling me..."

Adonis remains silent.

"The thing that is vexing me..." Souma says, more quietly. "Why do I feel something even stranger for that man...?"

"Kanzaki?" Adonis asks.

Souma turns his head to stare out the window, his lunch lying forgotten on Adonis's desk.

"It is an unfamiliar feeling," Souma mutters. "Adonis-dono, what does it mean when you... have someone whom you are not terribly fond of... whom you continuously fight with... whom you feel is the opposite of everything that you strive towards being... and yet, feel strangely sad upon the thought of that person leaving?"

Adonis bites into a piece of anpan. He chews slowly, and swallows.

"Kanzaki," he says, measured. "Have you expressed your feelings to this person?"

Souma turns red.

"I could never," he stammers, fingers clenching in his lap in reflex. "I do not even know why I feel this way myself. I do not know what I feel."

Adonis watches emotions flit across his friend's face, to quick to catch but too slow to ignore. 

"Kanzaki," he says. "Is this person... one of the upperclassmen graduating?"

Souma's shoulders tense. Adonis sighs.

"One of the most important things in repairing a relationship that retains its mutual understanding is proper communication," Adonis says, reaching over to pat Souma on the shoulder. "At least, that is what I believe. If you feel something for this person that you cannot ignore, or that would cause you pain to leave unaddressed, then you should communicate that feeling to them."

Souma's ears turn red.

"I could never," he says hotly. "I- the person that has been occupying my thoughts lately is someone who hides their true face behind a facade of frivolity. I cannot abide that. Such a person would surely consider such an expression pitiable, or one of weakness. I do not know why my emotions have forced me into such an incompatible mess. Perhaps I require more training..."

Adonis exhales.

"In training to repress your emotion you reflect the same thing that this person is doing, Kanzaki," he says. "My unitmates- especially Oogami- taught me that the strength of your emotions is a strength, not a weakness. Hiding them behind frivolity or by way of your idea of bushido- are they not similar?"

Souma's frown turns darker than ever. 

"I only mean," Adonis says quickly, "that sometimes, to have the courage to confront your own emotion and find and accept its root cause, instead of disciplining it, is true strength."

Souma sighs.

"I believe I understand," Souma says, relaxing slightly, picking up his chopsticks again. "Thank you for your insight, Adonis-dono."

~~~~~~

"Kanata-kun?" Kaoru calls. He's been briefed by Souma, who had caught him after class, and is now on his way to begin his Kanata diversion plan. "Kanata-kun? Are you here? It makes me depressed to have to call a guy's name so many times, you know."

"Kaoru..." Kanata's voice floats from his classroom. "Looking for me? How "rare"..."

"Yeah," Kaoru sighs. "Uh, Sakuma-san wanted to know if you would pass along some of the notes from your class since he didn't come today."

This part, at least, is true. Rei had lazily texted him and asked him to provide the notes from the class he had missed, despite them not being in the same general classes. Kanata makes a noise and Kaoru sighs. He's an idiot for thinking Kanata would take notes. 

It's fine. Souma had only said they would need a few minutes to put the final touches on the club room before Kanata got there, so it's Kaoru's job to both stall until then and make sure Kanata gets safely to the location.

"Why am I stuck with such a troublesome group of guys?" Kaoru says.

"Hmm?" Kanata says. "Kaoru, did you "say" something?"

"Not particularly." Kaoru says. He runs a hand through his hair and smiles. "I thought I'd walk with you to club today."

"Oh," Kanata bubbles happily, standing up. "This is truly a surprise. Very well. Let us "make our way" to the club room together, then."

~~~~~~

When they reach the door, Kaoru steps back. Kanata steps forward to push the door open.

The sound of confetti poppers fills the air.

"Congratulations!" Souma, Adonis, Anzu, and the orange guy- Madara- are there, standing cheerfully beside a table with a cake and some snacks. Kaoru smiles. It looks like Souma did manage to get everything set up after all. Kanata makes a surprised noise. Kaoru looks up at the banner strung above the table, between the fishtanks that glow with a familiar blue light.

"Thank you, Buchou-dono-"

Kaoru's eyes widen.

"-and Hakaze-dono!"

"Ah," he says. "He tricked me."

Anzu chuckles. The sound of a girl's laugh drifts to Kaoru's ears. For once, though, he's content to open his eyes to the people around him. Adonis is smiling. Souma has turned red. There's confetti in his hair.

"A graduation "party" with my seafriends and my human friends..." Kanata says, beaming as usual, the blue glow from the tanks setting his kind face in a familiar light. ""Amazing", isn't it? Wonderful..."

"For me, too?" Kaoru murmurs, and he smiles.

~~~~~~

"So this is why you asked me to be the one to bring Kanata-kun," Kaoru says, coming up next to Souma. He has already spoken with everyone else in the room. Souma seems to be avoiding his eyes, even when he gets a little too close to Anzu and plants a light, chaste kiss on the back of her hand (that she doesn't push away- he likes to think they've gotten a little closer.) "Souma-kyun has a conniving side."

"I am not- that," Souma says. The flush hasn't completely left his face. "This is our senpai's graduation party. Although you may not contribute at all, and you treat the club lightly, Buchou-dono considers you part of the club, so I must prepare accordingly."

"Are you sure I haven't just grown on you?" Kaoru teases, expecting Souma to get mad, or pull out his sword. Instead, Souma turns pink again, and glares straight at him.

"Come back in a year with your character changed," he huffs, "and then we can see."

Kaoru blinks.

"Souma-kun, was that an invitation to come back and visit?" He says.

"You are a Marine Bio club alumnus, after all," Souma sighs.

Kaoru smiles. It's not like his usual, frivolous smile. There's no girls around for him to beam at, and no glib chatter, and no one to take the warmth of this one, genuine, heartfelt smile from him, Souma thinks before he realizes he's thinking it, and Kaoru's presence is suddenly stifling. Souma thinks if he stays here too long, he might discover what the strange feeling he feels at the thought of Kaoru Hakaze leaving is. The deeper implications of that are a strikingly new type of fear he is unfamiliar with. 

"I'm glad," Kaoru says.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: can u tell i reread compfes. I love to die
> 
> tumblr kimishitaatsushi  
> twitter serpentinej
> 
> Hmu on twitter blease <3 im love kaosou


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